Dear Richard Madeley: My wife says I’m too old to wear shorts on our beach holiday

I’m only in my early 50s, so this has come as a surprise – but I’m starting to worry she might be right

I’m gearing up for a lovely long beach holiday but there’s a cloud on the horizon – my wife says I am ‘too old’ to wear shorts. This has come as a surprise – I’m early 50s, as I was last year, when no such strictures were in place, and not noticeably more decrepit than I was then, so why has the guillotine come down now?
She’s not the boss of me, or not entirely, and of course I can just pack them anyway – she wouldn’t be petty enough to take them out at the last minute. But there will be frequent sniping remarks – and of course, this has raised the unwelcome possibility that she might be right. What do you think?
— ‘Shorty’, via email
I published a letter here a few weeks ago from the wife of a man who had implied that she was too old to wear the new bikini she’d just happily bought herself. She asked me what she should do. Like you, she reckoned she’d look absolutely fine in her chosen summer-holiday beachwear, but had been plunged into self-doubt by her husband’s disapproval. 
My advice to her? WEAR IT! And that’s my counsel to you, too, my 50-something friend. Your story is a near-perfect example of female-to-male sexism. Who says a man in his 50s can’t wear shorts? Millions of men your age (and older) do! I’m in my 60s and during a holiday to the south of France last month I wore frayed cut-off denims every day, whether it was to the boulangerie for baguettes or a café for lunch. 
It’s a warm day here in London today and, for the purposes of research, I just took a stroll (in shorts) around my local shopping centre. Roughly eight out of 10 of all the men I saw were in shorts – and a good half of them were well into, or beyond, middle age.
I think your wife must have some agenda she’s not disclosing to you, because her proposed ban on above-the-knee cut-offs makes no sense at all. I think it’s weird behaviour – controlling even.
So pack your shorts, Shorty. Wear them. And if your wife gives you a hard time about it, threaten to go nuclear. Tell her you brought some budgie-smugglers with you as well.